• elementary school: reads at a middle school level
  • middle school: reads at a high school level
  • high school: reads at a college level
  • college: re-reads Harry Potter
  • college: gay fanfiction all day long

"SHOWING HIM WHO IS THE TRAINER"

"SHOWING HIM WHO IS THE TRAINER"

  • Amir: Number seven; Whoa, have a nice time in heaven. You thought that burger was bison, Nah that burger was RICIN. With a patty this thick it can sedate a family of SICK. And Mama Mia, I dumped a bottle of visine in the sangria! Clear eyes, full farts, cant booze!
  • Jake: You absolute monster you're talking about poisoning your family
  • Amir: Number six; I can fix this!
wolf pupy killing it as always

wolf pupy killing it as always

thepenguinpress:

How many books come with a warning? Bird Dream does! Find out more here

i cant wait to read this

Reblogué depuis Penguin Press
camurai:

tig in John Legend’s “You & I” video

camurai:

tig in John Legend’s “You & I” video

Reblogué depuis this is what ill is
Tags: tig notaro tig

is there an appropriate way to tell a girl “i think you might like this porn”

because im pretty sure she would

next on sportscenter we describe the things a quarterback does and act like its special this guy does those things, then we do it 5 more times with different guys:
“he can throw the ball between defenders and over their heads, thats why he’s #9 on my list of best quarterbacks of all time”

can we all stop and take a moment to appreciate how tally hall has a song called Be Born that is about being born

jeffgerstmann:

I’m just looking at some trackpants, man, leave me alone!

jeffgerstmann:

I’m just looking at some trackpants, man, leave me alone!

genderoftheday:

Today’s gender of the day is: this sick ass lightning storm

genderoftheday:

Today’s gender of the day is: this sick ass lightning storm

Reblogué depuis